Friday night home minhogim

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10 Nov 2008 03:08 #693 by rallisw
Friday night home minhogim was created by rallisw
What is the seder when one arrives home on Friday night -

Does one sing each stanza of Sholoum Aleichem three times or only once?

Does one sing Eishes Chayil? Does one sing Eishes Chayil if one is single?

When does one bentch one's children? Do the children need to be standing? Do both parents bentch their children?

What does one do when one is invited to a friend's home where they wash after kiddush? How insistent should one be to follow one's minhog and wash before kiddush?

Rallis

Minhag Avoseinu Torah Hee!

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14 Nov 2008 04:50 - 21 Nov 2014 16:03 #703 by Michael
Replied by Michael on topic Friday night home minhogim
Today the common minhog is to sing each stanza three times. This Piyyut is about 450 years old, and originally it was written to be sung once, (and not on Shabbos but rather in the בית הקברות)!

We have evidence that Eishes Chayil was sung in the time of the Chassam Soufer, and although it is a song that commonly is thought to come then to honor one's wife, according to Kabolloh it is sung for a different purpose, therefore even if one is single he should sing it.

Bentching the children is done when one says Gut Shabbos - which means in Shul or immediately when one comes home. Both father and mother give a brocho, and it is done standing. The original minhog (which is still kept by several people) is to give a brocho also before Kiddush in the morning and havdolo.

When one is in someone else's house - he should do as the minhag hamokom.

Michael FRBSH

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14 Nov 2008 08:09 #704 by Litvak
Replied by Litvak on topic Friday night home minhogim
1) I thought that Eishes Chayil on Friday night was a Sfardishe minhog.

2) Can you give some more information on the origin of Sholom aleichem as a cemetery minhog ? Quite interesting.

Litvak

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21 Nov 2008 14:19 #715 by Michael
Replied by Michael on topic Friday night home minhogim
The first mentioning of Sholom Aleichem to Malochim, (but much shorter than the way it is done today), is by Machzor מעגלי צדק, printed in סביוטינה year 5317 as the ending of a techinoh to say in the cemetery. That later was made into the longer Sholom Aleichem we say today and to the Riboun col Ho'olomim some say today, since Shabbos was mentioned there.

Beneath is the relevant part of the techinoh. To see the whole techinoh click here :

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אֲדוֹן הַשָּׁלוֹם, עַל כָּל אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ וַאֲשֶׁר אַתָּה עָתִיד לַעֲשׂוֹת, עִמִּי וְעִם כָּל בְּרִיוֹתֶיךָ, וּבְרוּכִים מַלְאָכֶיךָ שֶׁעוֹשִׂים רְצוֹנְךָ בְּלֵבָב שָׁלֵם, אֲדוֹן הַשָּׁלוֹם, תְּבָרְכֵנִי וְתִפְקְדֵנִי לְחַיִּים טוֹבִים וּלְשָׁלוֹם, תְּזַכֵּנִי וְאֶת זַרְעִי וְאֶת זֶרַע זַרְעִי, לִמְצֹא חֵן וָחֶֽסֶד וְשֵׂכֶל טוֹב, בְּעֵינֶיךָ וּבְעֵינֵי כָּל רוֹאַי, וְתַעֲבִיר עֲוֹנַי פְּשָׁעַי וְחַטֹּאתַי. תְּזַכֵּנִי לְקַבֵּל שַׁבָּתוֹת, מִתּוֹךְ רֹב שִׂמְחָה, וּמִתּוֹךְ עֹשֶׁר וְכָבוֹד, וּמִתּוֹךְ מִעוּט עֲוֹנוֹת. וְתַעֲבִיר מִמֶּנִּי, וּמִכָּל בְּנֵי בֵּיתִי, וּמִכָּל עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל, כָּל מִינֵי חֲלָאִים רָעִים, וְכָל מִינֵי מַדְוֶה, וְכָל מִינֵי דַּלּוּת וַעֲנִיּוּת. וְתַנְחִילֵנוּ יֵצֶר טוֹב, וְחַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא, וְרֹב עֹשֶׁר וְכָבוֹד, לְעָבְדוֹ בְּיִרְאָה וּבְאַהֲבָה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה הַמֶּלֶךְ הַכָּבוֹד. שָׁלוֹם לָכֶם מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁלוֹם, שָׁלוֹם לָכֶם מַלְאֲכֵי רַחֲמִים, בּוֹאֲכֶם לְשָׁלוֹם, מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁלוֹם, מַלְאֲכֵי הָרַחֲמִים, מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁרֵת, בָּרוּךְ בּוֹאֲכֶם לְשָׁלוֹם

Michael

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23 Nov 2008 14:17 - 21 Nov 2014 16:06 #718 by Daniel
Replied by Daniel on topic Friday night home minhogim
When I asked R' Hamburger (8/19/07) what the proper Friday night order was, this was his response:

הסדר המדויק הוא:
ברכת הבנים, שלום עליכם, כי מלאכיו, אשת חיל, נטילת ידים, קידוש, המוציא.

Daniel

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12 Aug 2009 03:32 - 21 Nov 2014 16:05 #1274 by MPerlman
Replied by MPerlman on topic Friday night home minhogim

Daniel wrote: When I asked R' Hamburger (8/19/07) what the proper Friday night order was, this was his response:

הסדר המדויק הוא:
ברכת הבנים, שלום עליכם, כי מלאכיו, אשת חיל, נטילת ידים, קידוש, המוציא.


In our home, we also sing צמאה נפשי before Kiddush, as was the custom of the Chasam Sofer zt`l.

MPerlman

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